Now what did I have yesterday...?
Oh yeah, I had...
*Celebrity Slim Choc-Orange Shake - Okay, but not as nice as the other CelebSlim flavours I've tried.
*Celebrity Slim Strawberries and Cream bar - meh. Not horrible, but not amazing either.
*Optifast Chocolate Shake
*A warm salad of baby spinach leaves, sauteed mushies and chopped tomato with some balsamic - I probably had more than my 2 cups... I was starving, so had a little extra. I figured that as it was veges, it can't be TOO bad... though probably not the best move regardless.
*Diet Coke, Diet Cordial, Water
I've lost 300g overnight. Not much, and it's made me angry... which I'm really annoyed about because I HATE that weight loss can be a negative. It's weight loss FFS! I should be HAPPY that it's ANY loss at all, rather than annoyed about the amount... it's better than a gain too. This pre-op stage isn't even about weight loss anyway, but rather liver-shrinking, so I really need to get over it.
Today I had a minor slip-up as well... an accidental one though so I'm not going to get angry with myself for it. I had a sip of Sprite. DD had a birthday party at Hungry Jacks, and I was holding her cup and talking... and I just took a sip. It was in my mouth when I realised that I shouldn't be having it (I'm used to absent-mindedly stealing her drinks... lol), but my options were to spit it out in front of everyone or swallow it... so I just swallowed. It wasn't a huge sip anyway, so I'm thinking it won't do much damage. It may stop SOME fat coming off my liver, but it's hardly going to fatten it up, so I'm not concerned. Well, not much anyway...
We've been invited somewhere for dinner, and I'm not looking forward to it. I won't be able to eat... and I HOPE TO GOD that SIL is not there... because if she is, then the fact that I'm not eating will be questioned, and she is the last person on earth I want to know about my surgery. I'm really annoyed they invited me - because they won't cater to me (won't provide me a basic salad or anything) so I'll have to go without or bring my own and look a fool while they all have their dinner. I guess it's nice to get a dinner invite, but the timing sucks.
I'm really quite cranky on Opti too... I guess a combo of starving, aches and pains and tiredness will do that to a person. Sucks because DP is home for a few days and all I want to do is to be left alone and sleep... but he wants to spend time with me. I'm just not in the mood... it feels like when you have the flu, except I have no sinus issues or anything, so it's rather strange. The aches and pains are the same though... my neck feels like it does when your glands are all swollen... only I'm not sure they are.
I may call the doctor on Monday and see if I can have a small amount of protein each day... even if that means giving up an opti or something to do it. I just feel like rubbish and I've got an exam and an assignment to get through this coming week, and given that I feel like rubbish, it's going to be hard. I can get enough energy to sit here and type this, sure, and if all I had to do was type what I was thinking for my exams/assignments that'd be fine... but I have to do HEAPS more research still, and I know my exam will be an all-day event I'm sure... but I'm just not sure I have the energy for that without additional food.
It's so strange that we're all vege-focused now as well... post-op it'll be all about the protein... and I suppose there's protein in these horrible shakes, but I dunno, it's not enough for my body to manage on at the moment. I'll be looked after post-op too, so I CAN slack off and do nothing... but now I can't. Just putting the washing on is an effort... and I'm hating feeling like this. It took me FOREVER to get out of bed this morning, and I went to bed early too... I'm just seriously exhausted. So yeah, I think I will call my doctor and see if I can add some protein. It can be the most fat-free protein there is... I honestly think I could survive this diet a lot easier if I still felt energised. I mean, I want food, sure, but that's not my issue... it's more the feeling like crap that's my problem. If that was gone, then I'd be fine to soldier on.
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