Nanna-Napping, Goal Weights and Belonging in a Vintage Photograph...

So this morning I weigh in at 98.3kg. That's nearly 9kg down since I started pre-op so that's pretty good.

I saw my dietician yesterday for the first time as well - she was lovely. Most people I have spoken to about my surgery have been either negative or supportive but not exactly positive - but she was really positive about it all and it made me feel quite glad about my decision. I think I rely too much on other people and their opinions, but regardless it was nice to have some positivity from someone else. She asked why I decided to, and after saying a few reasons, I added, "I didn't want to be 40, 50kg heavier and wish I'd done it back when I was in my 20s and thinking about it." She thought that was great, as she said most of her sleeve clients are older than I am and say just that - they wished they'd gotten it done earlier in life.

I also got a more specific run-down of how my foods will go, rather than the generic plan my surgeon gave me. Basically, until Monday (so 2 weeks post-op) I'm on full liquids. This means custards, milks, soups, juice, etc etc. Anything liquidy. I can have yoghurt too, even if it's not exactly drinking yoghurt because it's pretty much liquid... I just have to remove any fruit pieces in it (which I don't like anyway).

Then, from Monday until the next Monday (so from week 2 until week 3 post-op) I'll be purees. I can add some soggy weetbix (which is how I like them anyway), porridge, mashed veges, etc. She also added I can have CRUSKITS (yay!) because although they're crunchy, they dissolve... so as long as I have them with a moist topping (mashed avo/low fat cream cheese/etc) then I can have those too.

THEN, from week 3 onwards, I can have what she called a "fork mashable diet," which means if I can mash it with a fork, I can eat it. So things like mashed potato (and similar), lasagne, baked beans, really wet risotto, mince, tinned fruit, etc. I'm SO hanging out for this stage... I'm not even hungry but I still get bored with what I'm eating. There's nothing appetising about liquids over and over again.

I am eating more though now. Well, kinda. I think drinks go down a lot easier anyway. Food consumption is still fairly limited. So far today I've only had 1/2 tub yoghurt. For the whole day. I'll have something around dinner time... I dunno what yet.

I've also been given a goal weight - 77kg. The dietician had some sort of formula she used to work that out, saying that BMI was nonsense and not always the way to make goals anyway because they can be really hard to achieve. I think 77kg will be relatively easy, and I think I can go beyond that. I'd like to get into the 60s. Even just 68 would be fine, but in the 60s. I have no idea what I look like at that weight though, so I'll have to see. The dietician did like that I don't have a goal in mind as well - saying that it's a good idea not to bother with goals really... especially if you don't know what a good weight for you is (which I don't).

Mum's gone home this afternoon as well, so now I have to take care of DD on my own again. Already she's testing my patience with her complaining and nagging, but I don't think she realises I'm just not in the mood for it. I'm finding myself very tired very easily, so I'm not going to waste time arguing - I'll just raise my voice and that will be that. I went for a short wander from one end of a shopping centre yesterday, to the other, and came home and needed a nap. Seriously, it sounds do lazy, but I think my body just lacks the fuel input it needs to manage that sort of thing right now. Hopefully once I get on more solid food, I'll be better in the energy department. It's then that I'll start looking at joining a gym.

I want a bike too. Not a motorbike, but a pushbike. A nice one that looks kinda retro... I've chosen one that I could probably manage to afford, and that I think looks lovely...

It's so sexy. For a bike. lol. I can imagine me on this, with some wayfarers and a nice sundress... maybe some canvas flats... oh how vintage I will look. lol.

Also wanting to dye my hair back to a brown for Summer... might have to go into the salon for that though, as stripping it of the black might be a task. Maybe I'll go for something lighter than more summery than my natural brown... a little bit more golden than usual.

I also hope to get myself a car soon... and then, after that, a job. I really need one of those. I'm SO BORED at home and yes I'm doing uni, but I'd rather do that part-time and work part-time as well. It's too boring sitting at home all day by myself... and even weirder to not occupy myself with food anymore. Now it's just me and a glass of water or milk... not a bag of chips or a few sandwiches.