Swimwear, a crotch-shot and army-songs

I think I'm really looking forward to being considered "small," or "average," at the very least (given I'm short though, I'm hoping I can manage to be referred to as "small," at least once... lol).

It's so vain, and so superficial, but I can't wait to wear a bathing suit and go swimming. Nothing that shows off an incredible amount of skin, especially as I have stretchmarks all over my stomach... but something that I can wear that doesn't look like I'm in the water in regular clothes (boardshorts and extra-long tankini to make sure nothing shows). 

I'd love to have the legs to pull something like this off!

My thighs are constantly rubbing against each other, so to get rid of the majority of that, I would be THRILLED. I'd love to have "the gap," between them too. You might not know what I'm talking about, and I'll probably never ever get there as even some skinny girls don't have it... but I dunno, I've always wanted one... well, since I was about 15 anyway.

This gap, right here

I know that's wishful thinking though, because I'm a girl with hefty thighs, so if I could just get NICE thighs or a non-gigantic size, then I'd be happy. I'm willing to work my arse off (or thigh fat off) to get nice, toned, swimsuit-ready legs as well... I've never had nice legs, so I really hope that I can at least make legs that aren't so hideous I feel I must cover them up to at least the knee.

If I can get to Summer 2012/2013 and look good in a swimsuit WITHOUT boardies (or at least without knee-length ones), then I'll be thrilled.

I've also began lusting after outfits at http://www.modcloth.com/. Lord knows I probably won't be able to afford their stuff thanks to insane postage prices (about $50 - at least!) but maybe I could get them sent to DP's sister (who lives in the USA) and have her send them over as a gift... I'm pretty sure "gift" posting rather than stores shipping stuff here means a cheaper fee. I dunno. They DO stock plus-sizes, but not many, so I cannot wait until I am able to order some of their delightful outfits.

I've been thinking about my goal weight too. What's a good goal? According to BMI, my healthy weight would be between 51 and 64kg... but I have no idea what I look like at those weights! Well, actually, I think about about 60-65kg when I was 12... lol. I was as somewhere around the same height too (I stopped growing early... hence why I'm a midget these days) and I think wore a size 8-10. That's hardly what I'd consider overweight, though according to BMI, if I was 65kg now I'd be overweight. SIXTY FIVE FREAKING KILOS AND OVERWEIGHT! BMI is crazy.

I guess maybe I should aim for dress-sizes then, rather than weight? I think I'd probably be okay at a small 12, large 10? Considering I'm only 160cm tall, I think that sounds reasonable. I dunno though... I think I'll just have to get to a point where I think, "yep, I'm happy here," and stop trying to lose.

*Have removed the end of this post. It contained information about my new niece, but given family issues, I'm not sure it's appropriate for me to have information about their baby here.*