When you're fat, you think that you'll love yourself more once you lose weight, and you do. Or at least, I do. I am happier with how I look and thus less timid, less shy. I've found that instead of focusing on weight as my major flaw though, I've started examining other parts of myself more closely, and I think if I had access to a fair bit of money, I'd be off to get more surgery.
I know that once I'm done with having children, my stomach is going to need some work done. It's nice and saggy now, and having carried a 10lbs 4oz baby for 42 weeks previously, it's not the prettiest sight. My breasts are also an area of concern for me... they look okay in a bra most of the time, but while they are still large, there's a fair bit of skin there, and they're not quite "full." I'd like to remedy that, but aren't yet sure whether I want just lift or a lift and (very small) implants. I suppose a consult with a surgeon will help clear that up. Then there's my thighs and arms. My inner thighs are not pretty and no about of additional exercise is going to improve them unfortunately. I think my arms may be slightly improved with increased exercise, but they're never going to be as small as I'd like without a trip to the plastic surgeon first.
So that's 4 operations, at least... but all of these are the result of weight lost (with my stomach being a combination of weight loss and pregnancy)... but even if my body had sprung back from weight loss without any of these things, there's other things that bother me that I've never really liked, but that have always seemed like fairly unimportant problems to me because my weight stood out much more. Now that that problem is not such a big one, these issues have increased and begun to bother me more.
My nose is perhaps my main concern. I don't like it. It's bulbous at the end and is just... big and ugly. I'd like it made cute and little. Ashlee Simpson's new nose is more to my taste. I often fantasize about getting my new nose... but what if I went through with it, and it turned out like some Michael Jackson monstrosity? And what am I teaching my daughter? On one hand, I can tell myself I'm teaching her that if you don't like yourself as you are... you're free to change yourself until you're happy. But really, what I really think I'd be teaching is, "You're never good enough until you're perfect... but you'll never be perfect because nobody is, and you'll find flaws even when nobody else does." So, hopefully, there'll be no nose-job in my future. I'll suck it up and deal with it, because my nose is my nose, and I want her to understand that she is fine the way she is.
The rest of me? I find that my thighs are uncomfortable in the Summer heat, so while work on them would be cosmetic it would also make life a bit nicer for me too... and so I am okay with that. My tummy, arms and boobs are all possibilities but I'm hoping I can at least deal with some of them without worrying too much. Regardless, I've got years left to decide, because I'm not working on anything until I've finished having children.
Another thing that I can't fix with surgery, is my waist-to-hip ratio. I've become fixated on my ratio, and want it ever-increasing. Right now my bust and hips are about equal and my waist is 10 inches smaller. I'd be thrilled if I could increase that gap though, and so am considering purchasing a lovely What Katie Did corset, in hopes of shrinking it by 4-5 inches more. Only when wearing the corset, of course, though maybe oneday I could move on to waist training and see how that goes, for slightly more permanent results. Apparently that's what Doris Mayday does, and I love her curves.
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| The gorgeous Doris Mayday modeling for: http://www.pinupgirlclothing.com/ |
I am absolutely in love with the dress. I'm in a size 12 with very little stretch, and for anyone considering a Collectif dress, I found that I could fit into their dress despite the size chart suggesting that I needed a 36inch bust to fit (mine is 40inches - or a 12FF). You couldn't fit any more into it, though I have heard their plain-coloured dresses usually have more stretch to them.
Admiring the shape the dress gave me (or rather, admiring the way the dress enhanced my own shape), I decided to compare to an old "fat" photo... and I must say, I am very very impressed by this before/after combination.
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| Dress on Right by Collectif: http://www.collectif.co.uk/ |
