Well, one big fat reason would be that I've pretty much ceased exercise for now. I'm almost at the end of my course and so I've been doing lots of assignments and guide books, which is occupied a lot of my free time. I'm also preparing for practical assessment which begins this week. I'm confident I'll easily pass Spa Treatments (body wraps, etc), Diathermy (using electrically-charged needles to cauterize spider veins), Body Treatments (mostly electronic body treatments... like EMS/body faradic to tone muscles, body galvanic to fight cellulite, etc) and Microdermabrasion, but am a bit worried about Hot Stone Therapy Massage and Indian Head Massage because I've got to remember the routine off by heart, and my brain isn't one that likes to remember things. So been trying to get it to remember that.
Apart from pretty much abandoning exercise for now, I've realised I can drink soft drink and am being terrible and drinking it. I really need to stop, but find it very hard to, especially as it's getting hotter and everyone keeps offering it to me. So, that's another plan - to kick that by Christmas time. I don't care if I have the occasional soft drink, but I am drinking it too often. Still only maybe twice weekly, but that's more than I need it.
Obviously, the fact that I am so close to a healthy weight doesn't help either. My body is struggling, and wanting to cling to those last remaining kilos for dear life, so I know I'm going to absolutely work my butt off to get rid of them... and I guess that right now, I'm just not up to doing that. So long as I maintain though, and not regain, I should be okay.
Anyway, despite having lost 36kg on this journey, sometimes shopping is still... well... horrible. It's not the being fat that bothers me, it's the loose skin. The sagging, loose skin. It's particularly terrible on my inner thighs. Yes, my stomach is hideous and my arms aren't nice, but I'm okay with that. My arms don't bother me too much, and my stomach is something that was destroyed the moment I became a mother thanks to a big baby and lots of stretchmarks, so I gave up the hope for a decent stomach long ago. It's hot legs that I wanted, but unfortunately, the insides of them are just so incredibly saggy that they ruin my mood. Thus, shopping for swimwear was... well... somewhat torturous.
Add to that my boobs. They have shrunk in size (they're not and kind of "empty" now too), yet because they didn't lose as much as my back did, I'm a bigger cup size. Back before I lost weight, my bra size would have been a 20E. If you chopped off my breasts as they are right now, and put them back on my old body, I'd be a 20D... so I'd still have lost 2 cup sizes... but with a much smaller back size, they're now a 12FF. Which just... well, it's just not compatible with most swimwear.
We headed to the beach a few weeks ago though, and I knew I had to find something the day before. I was so fortunate to find that Bras n Things had a sale on. I wasn't hoping to find anything in a 12FF, but I wanted something that was decent enough to squish myself into. I can't do department store swimwear... and I was thinking I'd have to end up buying internationally online from Bravissimo.
Instead, I scored some swimwear which I could sort of squish my boobs into - a 12E bikini top and a little skirted bottom to cover my saggy thighs! YAY!
Last year I actually got some swimwear that I'm sure I posted about too. This is pretty much the same deal, in reverse, and instead of a tankini it's simply a bikini that I'll wear with a tight black singlet to cover my stomach. I thought it might be fun to compare last year to this year...
See? Pretty much the same (spots in reverse). I wanted a red and white style instead, but they didn't have a top I could squish into in stock, and I needed it immediately, so just went with black and white instead. I don't think I actually look that much smaller than last year, but I suppose that's maybe 10-15kg lighter between the two.
And just because I found it while adding those photos... I found another picture of swimwear I was going to originally get... and I think this one shows a greater difference between my previous size and my current one...
I also have another pic I want to share, because... well, because I love my new purchase. lol. I purchased a wig, mostly to see how I looked with lighter hair. I want to go light brown, but was unsure how it would look, and I know it's going to cost me a lot of money to get my hair from where it is now to a light brown... and I figured I'd just see how I actually looked with that colour first. Ordered a wig online, made from kanekalon which is apparently a good synthetic fibre because it doesn't give off that Barbie shine that other synthetic wigs do. It was super cheap, but I am just in love with it. I haven't worn it anywhere, and I look like an utter bimbo in it, but oneday I'll work up the nerve to go out in it.
In other news, since hitting the 12 month post-op mark, I've been able to eat much more. Not in a sitting so much as... snacking. I can snack all day long... just snack in tiny little bits... I try to avoid it, but sometimes, I just do it. Old habits die hard, I suppose. The restriction is just less these days. It's still there - I still couldn't eat what a normal person could, not a chance... but I can eat way more than I could in the first few months.
A fellow sleever shared this with me - a 5 day pouch test. Apparently it can show you that you still have restriction. You basically do a 5-day restrictive eating thing, and by the end of it, your restriction somewhat reappears. A sleever friend has done it, and says it works... and it's only 5 days. After re-feeding myself for 6 weeks post-op, I think 5 days will be a simple slog, so I'm going to give it a go. The aim is to start next Monday... so Monday and Tuesday I can be on liquids, at home, to make life easier.
The 5 Day Pouch Test can be found here, for anyone interested: http://www.5daypouchtest.com/plan/theplan.html
I'll update during/after I've done it, to let you all know my experiences with it. If it does nothing, well, it's no real loss, and as most of it is pretty much protein, it may help kickstart a little more weightloss. Who knows?
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