Apologies for neglecting my blog...

Firstly, I'm sorry for neglecting my blog... I haven't lost that much weight recently so progress pics and info seemed rather pointless... plus I've switched computers so this one has none of my stuff on it (I'll be transfering it soon, but it's just not done yet).
Secondly... I'm now 87.9kg. So losing, but losing more slowly than previously. I think it's natural now that I've started back onto regular foods... I'm also not nearly as pedantic about carbs as I should be, but I'm figuring that I'm eating jack all anyway, I don't care if some of it is less-than-fantastic. Mostly, that's drinks. I limit carbs elsewhere, but I drink juice and full-sugar cordial. I am sick of the diet stuff... and I like juice. So I'm drinking it. I've given up most junk foods (sushi is about all I can manage tbh), so I see it as reasonable enough. For now, anyway.

Food is annoying me lately... I'm finding it really hard to get much in and it's just giving me the shit. Seriously, I knew that I'd be eating only small amounts, but sometimes it's just ridiculous. Like ONE SINGLE BITE of something and I'm stuffed. I expected toddler-sized portions... not ONE SINGLE BITE portions. It's only lately though... so I'm trying not to get too shirty about it. I'm also thinking I'm just not eating enough in general... so perhaps I need to start aiming for a little more. Yesterday my food intake consisted of half a 1-egg omelette and ONE BITE (yes, I know, I just have to emphasise how crazy that is!) of lasagne (homemade - and I avoided the pasta, so at mostly meat). Eating half an egg, and 1 bite of mostly meat in tomato sauce is annoying. So here you go potential sleevers - this could be your downside. I know other sleevers who have been through this and come out the other side, happy again, so I'm just waiting until it's mine turn to either eat more or simply not care anymore.

I really need more foods to eat during the day in the house too. I've decided LOW FAT cheese (with some cruskits/crackers/etc for crunch), LOW FAT yoghurt and some tins of tuna are probably good protein options. They also come in good portion sizes - and some brands of yoghurt offer small tubs with proper lids so I can have half and go back for more later if need be. That's where my downfall is... I have issues finding small portions for myself during the day, so I just don't eat... and then I think my body goes, "WTF?!" and clings to every ounce of fat/sugar/etc it consumes to make sure I don't die. So I really need to sort my shit out and eat more. Who'd have thought that eating more would ever be an issue for me? I find it really strange, and totally sympathise with those who want to gain weight but cannot seem to eat enough to do it.

SIL and her little family still don't know about my surgery. MIL is calling it "a diet," and while I don't know if SIL has NOTICED my weight loss (it's nearly 20kg gone so I kinda hope she has noticed some small change!), I know she knows I've lost weight as MIL's mother (so DP's grandmother) asked how much I've lost now (she believes I'm on a diet too - I have no issues if she found out about my surgery, but MIL thinks she might let slip to SIL...) and I answered right in front of SIL, who was paying attention... so she does know I've lost a fair bit. She said NOTHING though when this was mentioned... which bothered me a little.

She actually told me I should have my tonsils out to lose weight! We had been discussing tonsils being removed as my daughter will have hers out this Friday (adenoids as well), and both of SILs kids have had it done already. Apparently her little boy refused to eat afterwards and lost 3kg in a week or so. I found a little bit insulting that she decided to tell me I should get it done to lose weight - it made me feel like not only did she think I was fat and in desperate need to lose weight, but also perhaps that my loss to date has not made a difference to my appearance in her eyes, and that an extra 3kg is needed.

Okay, so maybe it was just a light-hearted comment, but considering it was from SIL, who is a bitch, I didn't take it so well. It's not like I reacted or anything, it just got to me. I guess sometimes fat people have people they want to do a big "screw you!" to when they lose weight... to show up those people who treat them like crap, in part because of their weight. SIL is one of those people for me... so it does bother me when she fails to notice or acknowledge there's a difference, especially when she's told I've lost X amount. Usually, if someone said that and I was there, I'd say, "Wow! Congratulations!" Not just sit silently. She's not fat herself, nowhere near, so it's not as if she's the jealous fellow fatty who doesn't say anything because she's feeling bad it's not her who's lost the weight! She has no excuse. Other than being a generally nasty person.

I'll be having my driving test soon too... and then hopefully my car will come soon after. I need it before Feb anyway as that's when I start my course.