GET IN MY BELLY!

Gah!

For the first time in my life, I am not worrying about what I eat. I am just eating whatever I damn well feel like. I know my sleeve is coming up... so I think I've just kind of gone, "You know what? I'm gonna give myself a break!" but the problem is, I just keep on getting fatter.

I REALLY need to be a little less uncaring than I currently am. I don't want to stress about calories or anything because I am enjoying not really worrying about what I'm eating, but I'm SO unworried that I'm just being a pig. I think part of me is also thinking, "Oh, well, you won't be able to eat this sushi for quite some time after your operation... best get it in now!" and so I pig out.

I don't eat OFTEN, I think I just eat A LOT when I do eat lately. Somehow, I need to cut back. Of course, if this was that simple for me I wouldn't even need the sleeve in the first place... but I'm going to try. Instead of getting seconds because I want seconds, I might stop at my one serve. I think that's the problem - I'm overloading myself with food I don't really need to eat. It's weird because it's like emotional eating but not sure I'm feeling all that emotionally when I do binge... so I dunno.

Anyway, whatever the cause of it, I need to slow down and stop pigging out. Sick of getting fatter.