Cardigan-modelling and Waterslides...

City Chic has now got up to 75% off their stuff! Yesterday the website crashed because SO MANY people were on there trying to buy stuff... so I went in store instead. I didn't know what I'd find, but ended up with 2 jackets for $60... which is pretty damn good! I didn't get my red cardi, but got another red cardi... I still like the other more, but this is probably warmer anyway. Also got my green one delivered today too... so yay! 3 Winter items to keep me warm.




Sorry for crap quality, but this is my new cardi.





My green cardi was delivered today too!

I think they look pretty nice. I'm wearing the red one today, just popped the other for a photo. Also figure I'll share a pic of the other jacket I got...

So anyway, I am pretty pleased with my Winter wardrobe thus far... but I must say, that I know I don't actually look THAT FAT in those photos... which I know is why some people think I'm actually not THAT fat after all. Now I know I'm not "need to be removed from home with crane," fat, but I think I just know how to pose and dress for my size and shape mostly. I also generally wear nice clothes these days... in the past, I didn't even bother trying to look nice because I couldn't see the point. Now I at least try.

I am still big though. No idea how heavy today because DP did something with the scales so I dunno where they are... but I know I'm far from little! I think I photo well front-on too compared to side on. Side on and I look fatter...

Exhibit A (lol)

Regardless, I am quite short and my weight is bothersome at the moment. So bothersome that it's making life difficult and uncomfortable. I don't expect to be tiny... I just want to be smaller. Small enough to feel comfortable.

I'm also sick of avoiding stuff I want to do. I mean, I live in Qld and our Summers can be pretty bloody hot... but going somewhere that involves me being in swimwear just doesn't really feel like an option. Instead of enjoying the water, I'll just be there worrying about how disgusting people must find me, looking at all the other women around my age with their perfect bodies. Even when they're not perfect, they're still damn sight better than mine is.

DP rang me up before to tell me he was passing Dreamworld/White Water World on the way to a worksite (just to tell me how far away he'd driven mostly), and commented that White Water World had some interesting-looking slides. I've decided that when I've lost enough weight to not feel like a whale with lycra stretched over it, I'm going to go to WWW and enjoy those interesting-looking slides. I LOVE theme parks, but I hate being in togs... and I also dislike getting into rides because although I fit in them, a lot of time I JUST fit... and if it's one where I have to share a seat, I end up squashing the other people and it's just humiliating to know that it's my fat arse causing their discomfort.

Going to the dr today too. A different one to last time. Need my BP checked by someone else. It's so shocking lately, and I'm sick of feeling ignored. HOPEFULLY this time I'll get a better outcome. If not, I'll come home pissed and you'll all soon find out about it I'm sure.

Tomorrow is also the day for my first appt with Dr Greenslade! It's in the afternoon, so I won't have any news until the evening when I finally get home... but I HOPE TO GOD he agrees. I have no reason to believe he won't, but I'm the paranoid type who always worries about stuff going wrong, so I'm a little nervous and worried about it all. I'm sure it'll go smoothly though, and I'll book in a surgery date and just wait it out...