Random Rambling... and The Biggest Loser

I just had a look at the previous entries... and jeez, I sound like the biggest whinger. I sound like all I am is depressed, never happy... and make a LOT of excuses as to why I'm fat. I guess they are excuses - but a lot of the time, when you're struggling, they seem like perfectly valid explanations rather than simply excuses. I think the lines between excuse and reasonable explanation are blurry though...

I'm not always down though. Sometimes, I think I get a little full of myself. See, I'm fat, and I know that... and that gets me down a lot... but I also tend to dress fairly well for a bigger girl (not when I'm bumming around at home, but when I go out I often do), and I am really good at sucking my stomach in, so I look like I have a nicer figure than I actually do as well. I also, apparently, look quite young (with make-up at least), because people are always assuming I'm younger than I am. I even got asked for ID recently - I was like, "I'm 7 years away from needing ID, but how awesome is it that she doesn't even think I'm over 18 yet?!". lol.

I guess one thing I notice about me, is that even though I'm fat, I try to look decent most of the time. I'm glad that I haven't "given up," like I see so many others do. I often see people wandering around wearing clothing that just makes them look worse than they probably are... and it kind of makes me sad. That's superficial, right? I dunno, but I always want to run over to them and give them fashion advice. It's not like I'm an expert or anything, but I can tell when someone would better without the bike-pants.

The thing is, plus-sized clothing costs A LOT. I understand that it usually requires more fabric... but while you can grab a cardi for $15 at a cheap regular-size shop, you're looking at about $40 for a cheaper one in a plus-size. It's SO costly to be fat... and try to look half-decent.

I love City Chic for example... but they cost so damn much. Why would I want to pay that much for clothes that I HOPE I no longer need to fit into? Surely most women who fit in their sizes wish they were smaller, HOPE they were smaller, and often try to become smaller... so why so damn expensive? At least the resale value is quite good... so you can at least make a bit of your money back on eBay when you're done with them.

I guess I can see why people don't always dress to suit their bodies - because they simply cannot afford to!

Anyway, that's enough ranting about clothes.

I was watching The Biggest Loser finale last night (after not watching the actual series...lol), and I sat there with DP commenting on how GREAT people looked. Then I felt like shit. I mean, there were all these HOT people... who used to be fat... and I kept sitting there thinking about how disappointed DP must be that he's stuck with the "before," rather than an "after."

From THIS



And THIS...

TO THIS:



Seriously? How effing awesome to Leigh and Lara look now! That's one hot couple!



Of course, in these moments, I fail to remember that soon I'll become an "after," instead, and that for once, I'll REMAIN an "after," thanks to my sleeve...

I've just got to keep looking forward to my sleeve, and looking forward to having something there to help me both lose weight and then keep it off. BRING ON SEPTEMBER ALREADY!