So I'm a bit scared now - it seems that my loan has probably gone through. They just need to confirm it, but otherwise, I'll get the money soon and be able to organise my surgery. Hopefully soon after August 30.
But yes, I am scared. I was watching TV the other night and they were performing the sleeve on someone... and it wasn't so much the cutting out the stomach that freaked me out, but the way they rammed these things into the abdomen so they could get inside with their little scissory things (yes, very technical... lol). It was pretty much stab-with-scalpel then RAM this tubey thing in there. It looked pretty violent.
Though, I guess an upside is that I'll be asleep - so the abuse done to my body will not be remembered or even noticed. I wonder if it contributes to the pain afterwards though?
I'm also a bit paranoid about post-op pain. For some reason, I keep comparing it to my gallbladder surgery... perhaps because it was keyhole surgery too and removed something from my body. I guess the huge difference is, my gallbladder didn't have to hold food, and the whole thing was removed, not just a portion and then the rest stitched up. So yeah, I hadn't thought too much about the actual pain until recently... but I suppose it's something you've got to suck up and deal with whenever you elect to have surgery.
I was planning on seeing the GP today about my referral too, if I could get in... but I could only get 1 appointment, and my daughter is sick, so she's taken it (I was hoping to get 2 appointments one after the other - one for me and one for her). Actually, I don't really think she's that sick... I think she's bunging it on... but I'll take her to the dr anyway. Hopefully he'll give her some yucky medicine and she'll learn to only act sick if she actually IS sick, cos the consequences are gross medicines. lol.
I'm actually quite worried about my blood pressure as well... I keep thinking I'm going to have a heart attack before I have my surgery... but I try to comfort myself with the fact that there are people out there who are WAY bigger than I am, and they haven't had a heart attack... so maybe I'll be safe? Flawed thinking, I know, but I try to use it to settle myself down when I'm freaking out.
I've also been testing out Cup-o-Soups lately to see what tastes like shit and what is able to be swallowed without gagging. I want to figure this out pre-op so I can at least somewhat enjoy what I shove in my mouth during the liquids stage. I'm wanting to make my own soups too, but I'm really not a soup fan... and usually prefer chunky soups. I'm kind of screwed, aren't I? Oh well, I'll manage. It's not soups-for-life, so I'll get through it.
Going the GP will be scary. Hoping to have an appointment booked for tomorrow. Will ask for it when I go in there soon for DD's appointment. I keep fearing he'll brush me off, tell me to go on more duromine (I HATE that stuff!), or something. I don't have a close relationship with my doctors... because I'm not loyal. I see whoever is there at the time that I need an appointment... but I have chosen the doctor I want to get my referral from because he's one I've spoken to about my weight before. I just get the feeling he's more willing to accept my decision too... I dunno why, it's just a feeling I have.
I'll have to report back tomorrow if I do go see him, to tell you all what he says. Hopefully it's, "Sure I'll write you a referral letter!" and that's it, but I have a feeling I'll have to talk him into it... *sigh*
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